24 and wondering what went wrong

Not that long ago, I wrote an introduction to my blog page where I described what was going on in my life. In that I wrote of my happy excitement of moving to LA and even included a tab for travel just for that. I was excited and counting down the days until I got to move and start my next adventure.

Well…

That was a good plan. Was, being the key word there. Due to a series of events unnecessary to describe, I no longer know what I am doing in January. Nor do I know what I am doing in February. I couldn’t tell my plans past tomorrow. And for that I am devastated. It’s hard when this kind of thing happens. There is no foreshadowing. It happens and you live with the new ending.

I was mad. Not at the people involved, but at the situation and the fact that God had allowed it to happen. How often it has felt that things I wanted most are snatched away with what seems cold calculation from Him. I simmered in it, and truly questioned my position in this world and career. What am I supposed to do now, God? Huh? Give me a plan or something to work with here.

God’s heard it before.

He’s heard me say that in college. He heard me say that leaving college. He heard it again the next year when I didn’t know where to go. And later that same year when I didn’t know if I should come home. The truth is I’ve had the answers. God supplied them in a book He gave us a long time ago. But I, being the simple human I am, was too stubborn to want to read them. I knew that they were there. But I wanted to be angry. Tell Him it wasn’t fair.

God’s heard that before too.

He heard it when I didn’t get the part I thought I deserved. He heard it when the guy I liked picked someone else. He heard it when people left that I loved and later when people entered that I thought I didn’t. The truth though is this:

God hasn’t been wrong yet.

And to be quite honest, I doubt He will. It doesn’t mean that I’m still not upset. And I have the right to be. But it does mean that I shouldn’t be worried about the outcome because He has solved this same cry over and over again. I’ll still worry because I’m me and it’s one of the things I do best. But I am not mad. I’m having to be unfortunately patient. (Not one of the things I do best.) And I am willing to bet I’ll write here soon to tell you,

God did it again.

 

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